Tyler Jones and Erika Lizotte finish up their series on biblical parenting called Raising Kids Well.
Vintage21 Parenting Class :: Week 4 Taught April 26, 2007 Tyler Jones, Erika Lizotte
How do we approach scripture with our kids? - As parents we have to be people that do scripture - Scripture has authority in our lives - Scripture is active in our lives - When we let scripture practically, immediately, tangibly impact our lives, our kids will too & this will shape them & train them in the ways of the Lord - Communicate scripture physically & verbally - Written forms of scripture - Adult Bible - Kid’s Bible (My Favorite Bible Storybook for Early Readers, The Little Children’s Bible Storybook, The Beginners Bible) - Paraphrase - Coloring pages - Singing - Parents, know scripture!
How do we get around the materialism of holidays to teach the true meaning of these events to our children?
How do we compete with the tangible "things" our society perpetuates?
- Get out of materialism (Matthew 6)
- Buy things for their usefulness rather than their status
- Reject anything that is producing an addiction in you
- Develop a habit of giving things away
- Learn to enjoy things without owning them
- Develop a deeper appreciation for the creation
How do we discipline our children? - The same way God the Father disciplines me - see this in the story of Adam & Eve - Spend time with our kids - Give them the opportunity to learn self-discipline - Give clear instruction & explanation of consequences - Recognize sin & give opportunity to repent - If there is no repentance, continue with discipline - Explain what happened & what’s coming - Punishment comes to lead out of death & into life - Reconciliation - Parents have to know God & know his character, nature, essence
How does one handle discipline of children that aren’t yours: siblings when parents aren’t around, baby-sitting situations, church situations, general community situations? - Discipline has to happen in the context of deep knowledge & love – so it only comes from a few people - Model in V21Kids: - Instruct - Correct - Stop harmful actions - Get parents
Where is the line of appropriateness in approaching someone about his or her child causing havoc? - Have the courage to talk with parents - Have the tact to do so with a receptive heart - Parents: receive with humility
How do we deal with tantrums? - Share the nature of God with our children - Tantrum is expression of selfishness - We must bring children out of rebellion & back to life - Logic doesn’t work with young children - Teach before & after a tantrum - Stop the destruction during the tantrum - Give instructed consequence - Training within tantrums - Deal with a tantrum every single time it happens - Discipline in private, remove from public
What are acceptable forms of discipline? - Spanking: if we heed scripture, then we can’t say it’s wrong; it’s not the only way - Time Out: okay if it is the most effective way to startle a child out of rebellion - Passive & active: there are appropriate times for both; make sure we don’t dismiss our laziness as passive discipline - Checklists, allowances, rewards: okay if it is celebrating life & points the child to Christ
What do I do when I feel guilt for the way I have acted with my child (whether it’s too harsh or too lenient)? - Conviction of the Lord: apologize, experience forgiveness, and continue with life - From satan: leave it alone
How do I deal with my sin in front of my kids? - Be above & beside our children
Questions for personal reflection:
What will you do make lots of time for scripture in your life? Start your day extra early? Drop a hobby? Change jobs? Buy an Mp3 player? Discontinue cable TV?
How have you perpetuated materialism in your life? In your family? Which of your belongings has produced an addiction in you? Get rid of it! When this week will you give away things you haven’t used or worn in the past year? What will your kids give away?
Do you understand how God the Father disciplines you? Have you allowed him to do so? Read the story of Adam & Eve in Genesis.
Are there likeminded individuals in your life who have deep knowledge of & love for your children and the right to discipline them? Do these individuals reinforce or undermine your instruction, correction, & discipline? Have these boundaries been made clear?
Do you really understand that every tantrum is an expression of a selfish heart? Will you commit to rescuing your child from this rebellion every time it happens?
Have you successfully distinguished corporal & punitive discipline? How do you celebrate the life & growth of your children? Does your discipline look drastically different—in a way that it startles your child’s heart back to life?